More Tasteless Jokes

[RFH Reseller: Sol]

Adult / Explicit / Offensive Content:

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ContinueBypass

Two guys are stranded in the desert dying of thirst. As they're walking along they see a little shack. They run up to it and knock on the door. This big, fat, hairy, smelly, ugly, lady answers.
The first man tells the lady about their situation and begs her for a drink.
The women says, "Sure, if you f*ck me."
The first man replies, "I would rather die in this desert, then sleep with your fat smelly ass."
The second man wants to live and agree's to do the deed. The second man and the women enter the shack, leaving the first man outside. The women says, "f*ck me then!"
The man agrees to do it only if she will close her eyes. He looks around the shack and sees a table full of corn on the cob. He picks one up, ****s her with it and throws it out the window. The women opens her eyes and asks for it again.
The man agrees and repeats the deed. The women is finally satisfied and agrees to give the man and his friend some water. The man calls his friend in and informs him that the women is going to give them some water.

Punchline:

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The friend replies, "F*ck the water, I want some more of that buttered corn."

[RFH Reseller: Sol]

Three women were in the waiting room of a gynecologist, and each of them was knitting a sweater for their baby-to-be. The first one stopped and took a pill.
"What was that?" The others asked her.
"Oh, it was Vitamin C - I want my baby to be healthy." A few minutes later, another woman took a pill.
"What was that?" the others asked.
"Oh, it was iron - I want my baby to be big and strong."
They continued knitting. Finally the third woman took a pill.
"What was that?" the others asked her.

Punchline:

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"It was thalidomide," she said, "I just can't get the arms right on this sweater!"

[RFH Reseller: Sol]

Adult / Explicit / Offensive Content:

Some or all of the content in this post is not intended to be read by minors, by continuing past this point you acknowledge that you are 18 years of age or older and do not object to explicit and/or offensive content. If you are under the age of 18 or do object to explicit and/or offensive content, please do not click the continue button.
ContinueBypass

Bob goes into the public restroom and sees this guy standing next to the urinal. The guy has no arms. As Bob's standing there, taking care of business, he wonders to himself how the poor wretch is going to take a leak.
Bob finishes and starts to leave when the man asks Bob to help him out. Being a kind soul, Bob says, "Ah, OK, sure, I'll help you."
The man asks, "Can you unzip my zipper?"
Bob says, "OK."
Then the man says, "Can you pull it out for me?"
Bob replies, "Uh, yeah, OK."
Bob pulls it out and it has all kinds of mold and red bumps, with hair clumps, rashes, moles, scabs, scars, and reeks something awful. Then the guy asks Bob to point it for him, and Bob points for him. Bob then shakes it, puts it back in and zips it up.
The guy tells Bob, "Thanks, man, I really appreciate it."
Bob says, "No problem, but what the hell's wrong with your penis?"

Punchline:

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The guy pulls his arms out of his shirt and says, "I don't know, but I ain't touching it.